poniedziałek, 4 października 2010

The most important things in life

Every person is different... We all have our dreams and goals in life. Some of us want things that others would consider as pointless or even stupid. That's what makes us original and interesting at the same time. 
I had a lot of things going on in my life during the last few months and to be honest I did things I am not proud of - I made mistakes. People tend to say that a human being makes mistakes and it's normal, but I think the most important thing is to think hard about every bad decision and try to learn from it. 
I had a chance to get to know myself a bit better. I was surprised by many things I wanted to do or did, that I thought would never even cross my mind. Well I guess we all have to go through a certain stage in life where we find ourselves - it's called growing up.
Have I grown up? I don't know that yet, but the way I see it I've changed and one thing is for sure - my life will change a lot after tonight. Why tonight? Because of the decisions I've made tonight and the new start that I will have this week. It's about me changing my environment. I start a new University on Wednesday and it will certainly help me to move on with some things and to keep myself focused on something else than the problems I have now.
Don't you sometimes find it funny how the problems from the past can make you think that you were childish? The thing is that our needs change and our ways of seeing things as well. I found my diary a couple of days ago - I was writing it when I was 17yrs old. Oh it seemed to be so stupid, so completly not important comparing to how my life looks like now. 
And yes, I have deleted 3 posts from this blog, even though I wanted to keep everything in it, because all in all what was written was expressing my feelings, but when I looked at it i felt disgusted with myself and wanted to put it all behind me. 
I feel dissapointed with myself... The things I did made me feel sick ;/ But one thing is for sure - it will never happen again, because starting from tomorrow I will look at my life from a different angle and make sure that I avoid stupid things like that. The readers of this blog that I've given the url to know exactly what I'm talking about, I just don't want to think about it anymore or write about it. From now on the "it" or "mistake" or however I call it is just gonna be the thing from the past. 
Yesterday is history... Tomorrow is mistery... But today is a gift!
I will use the gift to create the best way to enter the mistery, because after all the mistery is what we all want to improve as hard as we can or even more.
The university, teaching kids English, my friends and taking care of myself are the most important things in life for me now. Keep your fingers crossed... I'll need some extra luck to make this all happen but it's not impossible...